


[Oldfic] Smile for Me

by TheFanficMaster



Series: Old fanfics [22]
Category: Pandora Hearts
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-15
Updated: 2016-09-15
Packaged: 2018-08-15 05:53:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8044873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFanficMaster/pseuds/TheFanficMaster
Summary: [Oldfic] Forcing yourself to smile loosens up the pain.





	[Oldfic] Smile for Me

Kevin awoke early in the morning to the sweet melody of silence ringing in his ears. He didn't want to open his eye yet, for fear that the spell would be broken, then everything would come rushing back to him the second he did. So, instead, he decided to lie there a little longer.

However, he wasn't given that luxury of silence, for soon it would be interrupted.

The door flew open to reveal little Miss Sharon who was grinning from ear to ear. Kevin started, surprised at the sudden entry. Honestly, couldn't she learn to knock? Sure, he was a servant and she was a lady, but that just made it more inappropriate for her to barge in like this.

"Xerxes-nii! It's snowing, snowing! Hehehe!"

Kevin's eye shot open, wide and weary. Snow...snow was...pure and easily tainted...and she...she loved snow. _Little Miss Sinclair._

Slowly Kevin dragged his sore and exhausted body out of the comfort of silky sheets and moved silently across the room to the window where Sharon was giggling happily. Kevin felt a light spark of affection in his heart when he observed her pretty pink blush that dusted both her cheeks childishly. He quickly squashed it down because no...he couldn't feel anything like that again, he refused to.

And there it was...taunting him...that damned substance! His eye narrowed with unconcealed hatred and he felt his empty eye socket ache, as if by seeing the snow it was reminded of the horrible weather. Oh how he wished that he could burn it all away into the depths of the abyss.

"Xerxes-nii?" Sharon had finally noticed his anger it seemed, for she no longer sported her signature smile and blush. "Is something wrong?"

"Leave me..." His voice was so low that he was afraid she wouldn't hear it, but judging from how fast she sped away from him with a sad look on her face, she had.

He couldn't help it. He just didn't want her to see him with the frightening look he must have been sporting on his face because little girls were so much like snow...so easily tainted.

A maid tried to summon him a little while later for breakfast with the Rainsworths, but Kevin politely (or as politely as he could manage in his current state) declined and—after dressing in his green day clothes—sat in the windowsill to stare at the white hellish substance that he hated so much. It was the least he deserved after all, the be forced to endure the presence of something he despised.

After a few hours had passed in which Kevin had spent the entire time staring holes in patches of freshly fallen snow as more sprinkled down, there was a knock on the door. Kevin didn't answer. If it was who he thought it was, then she would come in anyway, with or without his consent. Honestly, he didn't understand why she was so persistent when it came to him.

"Xerxes? Aren't you hungry? It's nearly noon."

"...No, Shelly-sama."

He could hear her walking across the carpet and yet, he still startled a bit when he felt her presence beside him, warm and welcoming, the kind of presence that threatened to ensnare him again and as much as he didn't want to admit it, it was winning.

"Shelly-sama?"

"What's wrong, does your eye hurt? Wounds like that do tend to ache in this kind of weather. I injured my knee once when I was a child...hurt something terrible."

He remained silent with his eye focused on the snow. Plans were beginning to form in his head...plans of heading out into a snowstorm and freezing to death, buried under mounds of fluffy white innocence. What a fitting end for such a horrible sinner. Kevin couldn't even remember why he was still alive when everyone he'd ever cared for was dead...he failed them all.

"Oh my Xerxes, you're quite stubborn aren't you?"

Kevin jumped when her warm arms suddenly wrapped around his waist, pulling him so that he was resting his head just above her breasts, a rather intimate position. He tensed, but didn't lash out at her like he would have someone else. No, this was Shelly-sama, he couldn't... _wouldn't_ hurt her, not ever.

"Calm down...there will come a time when you will be able to ignore the pain in your chest." Kevin shivered unconsciously when she began to trace the seal on his chest through the material of his shirt. He let out a shuddering sigh and leaned backward until he could feel her heart beating against his ear...he could feel the beginning of surrender rushing through him, numbing everything except her and the ever present pain. He didn't know why her touch had that sort of effect on him. Sure, she was definitely beautiful and he couldn't deny that he was attracted to her, but it was something more than that...Kevin knew it.

And it frightened him.

"Smile for me...Xerxes. Can you do that for me?"

"I...I can't." He didn't think he could manage a smile. No, he didn't think he could smile ever again, even if it was for her.

"Xerxes, if you smile then no matter how much it hurts, you'll be able to endure it, it shapes you and makes you stronger."

"I ruined everything...because of me...they're gone."

"You were only following your heart. What happened was horrible, but you're not a perfect man are you? Your loyalty to that family is quite admirable Xerxes...but it also wasn't all in vain. You learned a valuable lesson from all of this, didn't you?"

Kevin couldn't bring himself to look at her. How could she be so damn _forgiving?_ He'd murdered 116 people! No, not just murdered, but slaughtered! For the sake of someone else—for some reason the thought filled him with an unexplainable rage—he'd taken away 116 lives. And all of it turned out to be in vain, for the Sinclairs still died anyway.

"Feel free to visit their graves whenever you wish, Xerxes."

"Thank you, Shelly-sama."

"I want to ask you a favor, Xerxes. Reim and Sharon need a babysitter of sorts...a playmate. I think it would be good for you to watch over them. It would give you some responsibilities."

The thought honestly terrified him. How could Shelly expect him to properly look after both children when he'd already failed so miserably? He was the last she should bestow such honorable responsibilities! What if he failed again? No, he simply couldn't bear it.

"Why...must you do this? You should've just left me there to die."

He couldn't stop the small sound that left his lips when she cupped his cheeks in her hands and turned him to face her. She was smiling gently at him, her hair framing her face beautifully.

"Do I need a reason? I don't believe you're in any position to question my authority, Xerxes," and then without hesitating for even a second, she leaned down and molded her lips to his. He leaned up into the kiss, feeling slightly eager as it was the first intimate touch he'd had with anyone in such a long time. She gently traced his cheeks with her fingertips, breaking away from the kiss to whisper in his ear.

"I love your skin. It's so pale and smooth, almost like a woman's. Your red eye is so very enticing...ever since my husband died, you've been the only man I've ever found myself attracted to."

Kevin softly whispered her name as she kissed his lips, cheeks, eyelids, all over his face. He couldn't believe this was happening...Shelly giggled and traced his lips with her fingertips, loving the way he shivered with every touch. "You're very sensitive to touch, I see."

"Shelly-sama..."

"Come on, Xerxes, please...smile for me?"

And he didn't know what force made him do it, but suddenly...the ends of his mouth tilted a little upward. It didn't even look like a smile, more like a grimace, but Shelly grinned brightly down at him upon seeing it.

"See? If you train yourself to smile...then no matter how hopeless you may feel, the pain will lesson. Remember that, Xerxes."

"Yes, Shelly-sama."


End file.
